In last week’s episode of SoloMoms! Talk podcast, I talked about my reflections on my life after my last divorce. I came to the realization that I needed to expect more from others but more importantly, I needed to expect more from myself. It’s not enough to see the mote in someone’s eyes. You have to address the beam in your eyes (reference to scripture Matthew 7:3).
I believe it was Tony Robbins who said that we should become the person we want in someone else. For example, are you a physically unhealthy person wishing to be in a relationship with a guy who take their health seriously? You see the point?
While this article has nothing to do with relationships, it has everything to do with improving ourselves and creating the person we want to become. I was reminded of the exercise I did in 2006. I never had a list of my ideal mate. I only wanted two things in a mate: family and security. But there were things that I needed to do for me waay before I entered a relationship with someone. I needed my own list.
I think women who have a list of their ideal mate are correct to have such a list. However, rather than using the list as a qualifier for someone else, I believe the list should be used to quality us. Yes, be the person you are seeking.
So I want to issue a challenge. Do you have a New Years Resolution? Yes I realize it’s early but why wait until January to start your new mindset? You can still enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas, trust me.
So here’s the challenge…for the next 12 weeks (until December 31, 2019), we are going to create a list of 12 things we want in a mate. Then we are going to address one of those things each week. If you are already one of those things, then good. You have more time to work on the other things.
So let’s say, you want a mate who is rich or financially secure but you are broke, have bad credit and/or live paycheck to paycheck. Why not choose that one thing and start to work on you. For example, you could start by requesting your credit report or by making a list of your daily/weekly/monthly expenses. Simple, right? And I have a super cool and free tool that you can use to rapidly pay down your debt. How amazing is that?
So, start working on your list. For the things we are not, we are going to work on those things…1 week at a time. Join our free Facebook page here and share your list or the main thing you are working on that week. You don’t have to share to join but it would be fun and may help you to get input.
This is not about criticism or blame. This is if you genuinely want better. Better life. Better relationships. I listen to solo moms bemoan the other person in their current or past relationships. But sometimes it’s really not him, it’s you. You could save yourself so much anguish and waste of valuable time. So I asked myself what was wrong with me? Just make the list already.
Because absolutely, it’s not about them, it’s about you. Resolved to be Empowered.